Use fear to live a life of no regret

Do you have any regrets in life?

Perhaps you regret not making that one decision in the past because you were afraid

Perhaps you were afraid to commit to go after your dreams

Perhaps you were afraid to say hi to your secret crush

Perhaps you were afraid to speak up and voice your opinion

Now you are here, stuck, day dreaming about what could have happened if you make that ONE decision you were so afraid of taking

Fear is an interesting emotion

If you choose to avoid fear, it will be a terrible roadblock in life

Your choices will be limited

Your true self will be limited

If you choose to confront fear, it will be a wonderful blessing in life

Your choices will be expanded

Your true self will be expanded

If you continue to confront and overcome your fear,

You will build mental fortitude and toughness which leads you to a better life

You will have less regrets in life because you actually would have made that ONE decision which will make all the differences in your world

You will not have regret on your dream because you would have made the decision to go after it

You will not have regret about your secret crush because you would have say hi to her

You will be a hero because you are courageously conquering your fears that others secretly desire to do

If you want to live a life of no regret, you have to confront and overcome your fears

Be the hero of your own life

Face your fears with fear setting process

So how do you do that?

With simple 5 step fear setting process:

1. Accept your fear
2. Find the root cause
3. Identify worst case scenario
4. Create a solution
5. Execute

To make this idea stick and more real, I will use my own personal example

Example

It’s the end of 2020, I have an increasing sense of misalignment with a huge desire to 5x my income by end of 2021

In order to do that, I must absolutely give it my all. That means I must commit to sleeping 8 hours a day and work at least 4 DEEP work hours a day

If I continue to live with my current lifestyle, it’s almost impossible with my current schedule and it will drastically decrease my chance to succeed

My current schedule involves with going to salsa social 2 - 4 nights a week. After salsa, I typically sleep around 2 - 3 AM which is not ideal to get 8 hours sleep

Something has to change. I have to go to less salsa social but I am afraid

1. Accept your fear

I accept that I have a fear of being less active in salsa social, what if people need me in there?

2. Find the root cause

The root cause of this fear is the fear of letting other people down. What I am really afraid of is to disappoint others

What if people don’t like me anymore if I don’t go?

What if my salsa skills get worse and no one wants to dance with me anymore?

3. Identify worst case scenario

Usually worst case scenario is usually overinflated blown out of proportion images inside your mind

The worst case scenario in this case is I lose a contact with a few friends who I regularly interact with in social

I lose my dancing skills but not completely

Some new dancer come in and take the spotlight and gets all the girls when dancing

If I really look at it like that, none of this is bad at all

I will still retain most of the skills I learned from salsa

I get less attention from the spotlight is actually a good thing for me

I don’t want my behaviors and actions to have too much public presence

I want a more private life in my own little corner

4. Create a solution

The solution is clear. I am going to less salsa social to have the ideal schedule for my 2021 income goal

The plan is to rarely go to salsa social, no more than 1 time a week. If I go to social 1 time a week, then I better make the day after my rest day

I will still take salsa classes since they are at the end of the day and helps me to relax without interfering with my sleep schedule

5. Execute

The hardest part is execution

I will start now

Sleep 8 hours a day, and have 4 deep work hours

All the while go to no more than 1 salsa social a week

Have 1 rest day of the week, put it after a salsa social

Final remark

Fear can be an obstacle that will make your life worse

Fear can also be opportunity to make your life better

If I did not confront my fear, I would have continue to be stuck thinking about what others think of me that I will continue to not enjoy myself while going to salsa social

Eventually I would have regret my decision on not focusing on my 2021 goals sooner

By going through the process of confronting my fear, I learned that my fear is completely irrational

Now I feel more liberated and happy because I am not limited by my fear

So alway confront your fears and never let it stop you from living your life to the fullest

Use the fear setting process

Life a life with no regret