Honesty above all else

My big values in life are growth, freedom and authenticity

I always wanted to improve

I always wanted to be free

I always wanted to be more of myself

Honesty plays a huge part in all of those above

You need honesty to admit your own shortcomings and flaws before improvement

You need honesty to be free from social norms and other people’s dogma

You need honesty to be your real self

Problems without honesty

To help look at it another way, let’s talk about what happens if you don’t value honesty

Without honesty, you deny your own flaws, then you project that onto someone else

Without honesty, you are not being yourself

Without honesty, you are trapped within the society. You follow what other people are doing and this is why people experience the famous mid life crisis.

The best quote I have ever found is very simple as:

Honesty is freedom

The more honesty you practice the more you realize how profound this quote is

What you need to do

1. Be honest with what you want

You need to make yourself happy first before your happiness overflows to other people’s life

In order to do that, you must be honest with what you want and choose yourself first

If your loved one want marriage and you don’t, speak up

If your friends wanted you to go to their birthday party event and you really don’t want to, say no

2. Don’t be anyone else

Typically parents and your loved ones may want you to be someone else

They want you to have something that you don’t have right now

You are honestly not other people

Yes you can improve and may have other people’s traits but stay away from anyone who want you to be someone else

Don’t be anyone else but yourself

If your partner want you to be someone else, break up with them

My own life examples

Back then after college I needed a near death car accident to wake me up and be more honest

I was a people pleaser. When I was in a relationship, I always aim to please my partner and forgot about my own honest desires

My partner wanted to get married, I mildly agreed even though I honestly was not ready and did not want to get married yet

My partner felt the lack of commitment along with other issues

My partner wanted me to drive her to work at 6 AM to prove my love for her, it was 2 AM at that time

I once again did not honestly tell her that I cannot do this, then reluctantly agreed

Due to my lack of sleep, I almost died in a car accident coming home

The car flipped over and everything was damaged

If I did not wear my seat belt, I would have been paralyzed from the neck down

That was my huge wake up call and a pivotal point in my life

I must be honest with myself or else I might just die from not speaking up

I cried then broke up with my partner

It was my first big break up and it took me 6 months to recover

I realized how vulnerable and hurt I was from rejecting myself throughout the relationship

This was all due to lack of honesty

Never again!